The Step-Sister
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: ***Intro of Lauren*** Who is Lauren you ask? Besides the fact that she is *me*, she's also Squiggy's step-sister. Fortunately, I'm really not *grin*
1. Default Chapter Title

**The Step-Sister ** **ONE**   
Lenny & Squiggy's apartment, morning 

Squiggy has just gotten the mail and is looking through the envelopes. Lenny is sitting at the table, watching him. 

"Let's see... occupant. That's yours," Squiggy said, tossing the envelope on the table. "Occupant. That's yours..." 

"Squig?..." Lenny started. 

"Bill..." Squiggy said, making a face. 

"Squig?.." 

"Occupant..." 

"Squig?!..." 

"_Wha-at_?!" Squiggy said, annoyed. He put the rest of the envelopes on the table and one fell on the floor. 

"...You dropped one... and stop givin' me the ones for this 'occupant' guy!" Lenny said, pushing the envelopes away from him. 

Squiggy picked up the envelope that fell on the floor. "Hey..." Squiggy said, reading the return address. He tore the envelope open and began reading the letter. 

"What is it?" Lenny asked. 

Squiggy turned the page over, looking for more of the letter. "This is from my step-sister," Squiggy said. 

"Step-sister?" Lenny asked, making a face. "I didn't know ya had a step-sister!" 

"Well, ya do now... Her letter says that she's comin' to visit," Squiggy said, still holding the letter, but putting the envelope on the table, "tomorrow!" 

"Tomorrow?" Lenny picked up the envelope and looked at it. "Uh, Squig?" 

"What?" 

"She's comin' today!" Lenny said, holding the envelope up to Squiggy's face. 

  
**TWO**   
Laverne & Shirley's apartment 

Shirley is waiting impatiently for Laverne. "Come on, Vernie! I don't wanna be late for work again!" Shirley shouted towards the bedroom. 

"I'm comin, I'm comin'," Laverne shouted back. 

There's a knock at the door. 

"Don't worry, I'll get the door," Shirley shouted, sarcastically, going over to the door. She opened the door and found a girl standing there. 

The girl was wearing a baseball cap with her pony-tail showing through the back. She had on a purple T-shirt and black jeans. She reminded Shirley a little bit of Squiggy. 

"Uh... does Squiggy live in this building?" the girl asked. 

"Yeah. On the fourth floor. Why?" Shirley asked. 

Laverne finally came out of the bedroom. "Okay, Shirl, let's get go-" She stopped when she saw the girl standing at the door. "Hi." 

"Hi, I'm Lauren... Squiggy's step-sister," the girl said. 

Laverne and Shirley stood frozen with surprise. 

Finally, Laverne snapped out of it. 

"You're his step-sister?" Laverne asked. 

"Yeah, I just came to visit him... Hey, he's written about you two. You're Laverne and Shirley, right?" Lauren asked. 

"Yes," Shirley answered, motioning for Lauren to have a seat on the couch. "You know about us?... Huh, that's funny. We don't know anything about you." 

Lauren shook her head, "That figures, he's always been a creep like that... but I'd still like to visit him." 

Suddenly, the girls' door flies open and the boys come in. 

"Hello!" Squiggy said. "Ooh..." 

"You still do that?" Lauren said, glaring at him. 

"Well..." Squiggy staggered. 

"Is that your step-sister?" Lenny asked. 

"Yeah, that's her... Everyone, that's Lauren," Squiggy said. 

Lauren let out a sigh. "Could I possibly introduce myself?" she said, getting up from the couch. She went over to Lenny. "Hi." 

"Hi," Lenny said. 

"You must be Lenny... and let me guess, you ALSO don't know anything about me," Lauren said. 

Lenny nodded. 

"Squiggy, why haven't you said anything about me?" Lauren asked. 

"Well..." Squiggy staggered again. 

"Nevermind. I don't wanna know," Lauren said. 

"Uh, I hate to end this conversation, but we gotta get to work... You wanna come with us to the brewery?" Laverne asked. 

"Actually, I don't think I can... don'tcha have to be twenty-one?" Lauren asked. 

"Yeah, why?" Shirley asked. 

"I'm eighteen," Lauren answered. 

  
**THREE**   
The Pizza Bowl, mid-morning 

Lauren is sitting at a table. She was talking to Mrs. Babish all morning and is now waiting for Carmine to take her to his dance studio. 

"Hey, the Big Ragoo is here!" Carmine said, coming in the door. He went over to where Lauren is sitting. "Are you Lauren?" 

"Yeah, you must be Carmine," Lauren said. 

"Yup," Carmine answered. 

"You have a dance studio, huh?" Lauren said. 

Carmine nodded. "Yeah, maybe I could teach ya..." 

Lauren stopped him. "Good luck. I've got two left feet and no rhythm!" 

"Well," Carmine paused, thinking, "I'll find ya somethin'." 

"Anything's better than sitting here bored... especially since I can't go to the brewery." Lauren got up and the two left. 

  
**FOUR**   
Outside the apartment building, afternoon 

Lauren is sitting on the stoop, waiting for everyone. 

The girls pull up in their car and get out. 

"Hey, I hope ya haven't been sittin' there all day!" Laverne teased. 

"No. Actually, I went to Carmine's dance studio and I watched him teach some classes," Lauren paused, seeing the look on Shirley's face. "And no I didn't touch him. He's nice, though. You're lucky to have a boyfriend like him!" 

Shirley blushed. "Thank you," she paused. "Have you had supper yet?" 

Lauren shook her head. 

Shirley continued, "How about I go get some pizzas?" 

"Okay," Laverne and Lauren said in unison. They looked at each other and laughed. 

Shirley got back in the car and left. Laverne and Lauren went into the building and down to the girls' apartment. 

  
**FIVE**   
the girls' apartment 

Laverne and Lauren come in. 

"So, how do ya like Milwaukee so far?" Laverne asked. 

"I like it alot. It kinda reminds me of North Adams," Lauren said, taking a seat on the couch. 

Laverne headed towards the kitchen. "You want somethin' to drink?" 

"Sure, whatever you're gonna have." 

"Uh, well, I was gonna have a milk'n'Pepsi." 

"So?" 

"If you insist." Laverne began mixing together the drinks. She finished and carried them over to the couch. She handed Lauren a glass and sat down. As soon as Lauren had her glass in hand she took a long drink. Laverne watched her in amazement. 

Lauren finished and looked at Laverne. "What?" she asked. 

"It's just that I've never seen anyone, other than myself, drink that so fast... or even drink that!" Laverne said. 

Lauren held up the glass to the light. "It takes an educated pallate." 

The two girls began laughing. 

Suddenly, the door flies open and Lenny and Squiggy come in. The two go over to the couch. Squiggy sat next to Laverne on the arm of the couch and Lenny sat on the couch next to Lauren. 

"Is that better?" Squiggy asked. 

"Squig, I meant do you have to barge in? Atleast when you say 'Hello!' you sorta introduce yourselves... but that was just plain rude!" Lauren said. 

Laverne gave Lauren a hug. "I love this girl! She puts you in your place!" Laverne said. 

Shirley walked in through the open door, with pizzas in hand. "Pizza's here!" She put the boxes on the coffee table and the others immediately dove into the pizzas. Shirley shook her head. "Animals." 

  
**SIX**   
evening 

Everyone is sitting around, watching TV, surrounded by empty pizza boxes. 

Shirley kept glancing from the TV to the boxes. "I can't stand this mess anymore!" Shirley said, standing up. 

Laverne looked at her. "Then clean it up. No one's stoppin' ya." 

"No, I think she meant we should help her," Lauren said, standing up. 

The three girls began cleaning up, while the boys continued staring at the TV. 

Lauren came up behind the couch. "Fellas..." 

The boys turned around to look at her. 

Lauren continued, "You gonna help... or be vegetables all your lives?" 

"I love that girl!" Laverne yelled, suddenly. 

The boys mumbled something, got up off the couch, and started cleaning. 

  
**SEVEN**   
later that evening 

All the boxes are picked up and Shirley is looking around at the nice clean room. "See, isn't that better?" 

"What do we care? We don't live here!" Squiggy said, laughing. 

The girls looked at Lenny and Squiggy, then looked at each other. "OUT!" they said in unison and pushed the boys right out the door, slamming it behind them. 

Laverne turned to Lauren. "You wanna stay on our couch?" 

"Sure," Lauren answered. 

"I'll getcha some blankets," Shirley said, heading towards the bedroom. 

  
**EIGHT**   
night 

The room is dark. Lauren is trying to get comfortable on the couch. She sits up. "_This is NOT gonna work_!" she whispered to herself. She got up off the couch, grabbed a key for the door, and left the apartment. She went up the stairs, out of the building, and sat on the stoop. She'd been looking at the stars for a few minutes when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around quickly. "Lenny?!" 

"Mind if I join ya?" Lenny asked. 

"No, go ahead," Lauren said, scooting over a little to make some room for him. 

"What're ya doin' out here?" Lenny asked. 

"I couldn't sleep. Besides, it's only nine o'clock," Lauren said, looking at her watch. "What about you?" 

"Well, I kept pickin' on Squig about how you keep pickin' on him and, well, he locked me out," Lenny answered. 

Lauren shook her head. "It figures. He can really act like a little kid sometimes..." 

"Maybe he should be more like you?" Lenny said. 

"Me? No, I don't think so..." Lauren said, trailing off. She looked back up at the sky; the clouds were beginning to cover the stars. She sighed. "I'd rather be more like him... atleast he's been on dates... or he's been lyin' to me!" 

The two sat for a moment not saying anything. 

Finally, Lenny broke the silence. "I got an idea," he started, "close your eyes." 

Lauren looked at him, skeptically. "Why?" 

"Just close your eyes." 

"Okay, okay." Lauren closed her eyes. A few seconds passed, then she felt something. Lenny had kissed her. She opened her eyes quickly and looked at him. 

He was smiling. "I fixed it... Now, you've been on a date." 

Lauren smiled. "Thanks!" 

It started raining... heavily. 

"Maybe we oughta go in," Lauren said. 

"Yeah," Lenny agreed. 

Lauren jumped up from the stoop. "See ya tomorrow!" she said, going in the building. 

Lenny got up slowly and headed in the building. "She can't be related to Squig..." he whispered to himself. ...go read part 2!


	2. Default Chapter Title

  
    Part 2    
       
     **NINE** morning   
     Laverne and Shirley come out of their bedroom and find Lauren still sleeping on the couch, hugging a pillow.   
     "Maybe you shoulda given her BooBooKitty?" Laverne said, smiling.   
     Shirley glared at her. "You know I don't like it when others touch BooBooKitty..."   
     "...or Carmine!" Laverne added.   
     "True... Come on, let's wake her up."   
     The girls went over to the couch and began lightly shaking Lauren. Before she woke up, she mumbled something, but the only word the girls understood was 'Lenny'.   
     Lauren finally opened her eyes. "Morning already?" she asked, yawning.   
     "Yup. Ya want breakfast?" Laverne said, going to the kitchen.   
     "Yeah," Lauren answered, sitting up. She got up and helped Shirley fold the blankets.   
     The three girls sat at the kitchen table. Lauren started eating, but Laverne and Shirley sat looking at her.   
     Lauren stopped eating and looked up. "What?" Lauren asked.   
     Laverne hit Shirley in the arm.   
     "Why were you... huggin' the pillow?" Shirley asked.   
     Laverne rolled her eyes, thinking that that wasn't what she was supposed to ask about.   
     "I dunno..I just do that sometimes," Lauren answered.   
     Shirley hit Laverne in the arm.   
     "We heard you mumblin' somethin' about Lenny before you woke up..." Laverne said   
     Lauren's eyes went wide when Laverne said 'Lenny'. "Okay. I went out to sit on the stoop at about nine o'clock last night because I couldn' sleep and Lenny came out. We got to talkin'... and he kissed me," Lauren explained and went back to eating.   
     Suddenly, the door flew open and the boys came in.   
     "Hello!" Squiggy said, angrily.   
     The girls started trying to make Lauren remember that she was still in her PJ's. She looked at them. "What? I'm wearin' sweats and a T-shirt... it's not like I'm in my underwear!" Lauren said and went back to eating.   
     The boys came over to the living room/kitchen divider. Lauren turned around and looked at Squiggy.   
     "You still haven't learned..." Lauren started.   
     "I don't care! You've made me mad as a hat rack!" Squiggy started.   
     The three girls started chuckling.   
     Squiggy continued, "You come here to visit me and ya end up makin' out with Lenny!"   
     Lenny glared at Squiggy. That obviously wasn't what he told him.   
     Lauren stood up and went face-to-face with Squiggy. "We weren't makin out! He gave me a kiss and I did come to visit you, but you're makin' it kinda hard to do! I-I wish you were more LIKE Lenny!" she yelled, then ran into the girls' bathroom.   
     Shirley shook her head.   
     "Maybe one of us oughta talk to her," Laverne said to Shirley.   
     "I will," Lenny said and he headed to the bathroom.   
     "Good luck..." Squiggy said.   
     Laverne and Shirley looked at each other. They got up and started pushing him to the door and finally got him to leave.   
     Meanwhile, Lenny is trying to talk to Lauren, but she won't say anything - she won't even look at him.   
     "Awe, c'mon, you know how big-a mouth he's got. He didn't mean nothin'!" Lenny said, trying to console her.   
     Lauren, who's been sitting on the side of the tub with her face covered by her hands, sighed, and mumbled through her hands, "I dunno why I said I came to visit that jerk!"   
     "Huh?" Lenny said, checking his ears.   
     Lauren looked at him finally. "I only came because I wanted to meet you guys - you, Laverne, Shirley, Carmine, and Mrs. Babish. I could've cared less about whether I saw Squiggy or not!" **TEN** just outside the bathroom door, the girls are eavesdropping   
     The door opened suddenly and the girls are caught.   
     "Hi," the girls said in unison.   
     "You didn't have to listen at the door..." Lauren said, going over to sit on the couch, leaving Lenny at the door.   
     "Well?" Laverne asked.   
     Lenny shrugged his shoulders. "She never wanted to visit him. She just wanted to meet us... I'm gnna go give Squig a punch!" He went to the door and left, slamming it behind him.   
     The girls went over to the couch and sat next to Lauren, one on either side.   
     "Just because he's my step-brother doesn't mean I have to like him..." Lauren started, "He's such a jerk."   
     "Yeah, but he's always been a jerk!" Laverne said.   
     Shirley gave Laverne a slap on the back of her head. "You need to talk to him... and not _about_ him!"   
     Lauren sighed. "Yeah, I know, but he doesn't listen..."   
     Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.   
     "Come in," Laverne said, loudly.   
     The door opened and Squiggy came in, holding a hand on his gut.   
     "Uh, Laverne, why don't we let them talk..." Shirley said, grabbing Laverne's arm.   
     The two girls went into the bedroom and Squiggy came up to the couch.   
     "Can I sit... or ya gonna have Lenny punch me again?" Squiggy asked.   
     "I didn't _tell him_ to punch you. If I'd had the chance first, I prob'ly would've," Lauren said. "...You finally knocked..."   
     "Yeah... I heard ya through the door - I didn't mean to listen," Squiggy said. "I won't be such a jerk no more!" He gave her a pleading, pathetic look.   
     Lauren surrendered. "Okay... just stop looking at me like that!" She began laughing.   
       
     **ELEVEN** mid-morning   
     Everyone is sitting around playing a game of Monopoly.   
     "C'mon Boardwalk!..." Lauren said, shaking the dice. She rolled them and the dice went off the table. "What'd they land on?"   
     Laverne checked the dice. "Snake eyes!"   
     "One, two... Park Place... shoot!" Lauren said.   
     Lenny put his hand out. "C'mon, pay up!"   
     "I landed here the last time around," Lauren complained, handing Lenny the money. "I'm sick of this game. Isn't there anything else we could do?"   
     Laverne grabbed the newspaper and began flipping through the pages. "Hey, there's a monster movie marathon playing at the NewView!"   
     "Really!?" Lauren said.   
     "Yeah... why don't we all go?" Laverne suggested.   
     "I can't. I'm gonna be going out with Carmine a little later," Shirley said, picking up the game.   
     "Well, maybe the four of us could go?" Lauren suggested.   
     Laverne looked at Squiggy, who was now puckering up. "No way!" she exclaimed.   
     "Hmm..." Lauren looked at Lenny. "You and me?"   
     "Sure," Lenny answered.   
     The two got up and left.   
     Shirley stopped picking up the game. "Those two make such a cute couple," Shirley said. She looked at Laverne.   
     "What?... Hey, I don't have a problem with that - he had the crush on me! Don't look at me like that, Shirl!" Laverne said, correcting Shirley. "Hey, Squig, what do you think?"   
     "Me? It's none-a my business what she does. But if anythin' happens to her, I'm gonna run over Lenny with my beer truck!" Squiggy answered, then left.   
     The girls stood silently for a moment, then looked at each other.   
     "Oh, please. There's no doubt that Lauren could beat up Lenny... even you could, Shirl!" Laverne teased.   
     Shirley threw a pillow at her and the girls began laughing.   
       
     **TWELVE** the Pizza Bowl, afteroon   
     Laverne and Shirley came in and sat at a table.   
     "Vernie!" Shirley whispered, excitedly. "Look over there!" She pointed past Laverne.   
     Laverne turned around to see what Shirley was pointing at. She turned back around to Shirley. She started giggling. "I hope my Pop doesn't catch 'em makin' out like that!"   
     Shirley got a strange look on her face. "Maybe Lauren's in a little over her head... Quick, turn away!"   
     The girls turned away just before Lauren and Lenny walked by. They stopped at the door and Lauren said something to Lenny. He left and she came up behind the girls.   
     Lauren leaned on the backs of their chairs. "I hope you're not checkin' up on me!" she said, smiling. "Oh, and, by the way, we _did_ watch the movies..." She turned and left.   
     "Why do I believe her?" Shirley asked.   
     "Because Lenny doesn't like to miss any of the movies!" Laverne answered.   
       
     **THIRTEEN** the girls' apartment, early evening   
     All three girls are sitting on the couch, watching TV. A commercial came on.   
     "Could I use the phone?" Lauren asked. "I wanna call my parents."   
     "Sure, but don't talk _too_ long!" Shirley said.   
     Lauren went over, picked up the receiver, and dialed the number.   
     Laverne and Shirley started fighting over what to watch next.   
     "Awe, why can't I stay longer?" Lauren asked.   
     The girls stopped arguing and looked at Lauren.   
     "Oh, alright," Lauren said. She looked at her watch, "The next train leaves in twenty minutes. I'll get that one. Bye." She hung up the phone and turned to the girls. "I gotta get my stuff together and catch that train!"   
     The three girls began running around like crazy to gather Lauren's things.   
       
     **FOURTEEN** night   
     "It's so quiet around here now. Even the boys haven't been around..." Shirley said.   
     "I wonder if she said goodbye to them?" Laverne asked.   
     Suddenly, the door flew open and the boys came in.   
     "Hello!" Squiggy said. He looked around. "Where's Lauren? I were espectin' her to yell at me again!"   
     Laverne and Shirley looked at each other. They started having a slap fight and Laverne won.   
     "Well... she went home," Shirley said.   
     "What!?" Lenny asked, surprised.   
     "She didn't say why - she'd called home, then had twenty minutes to catch the train..." Laverne stopped.   
     Squiggy stood there silently, but Lenny turned and left.   
     "I didn't think she hated me that much!" Squiggy said.   
       
     **FIFTEEN** the next day   
     Shirley was vaccuuming and Laverne was ironing.   
     Suddenly, the door flew open and Lenny ran in, holding a card. "Look at what I found!" Lenny said.   
     The girls came up to him to look at the card.   
     It read:
    
     "Thanx for the date! Now, don't be late, You can come visit me, Just don't bring Squiggy!"   
    
    
     THE END :)~


End file.
